As you go through the varied seasons of your married life from newlyweds, to beginning a family, to raising a family, to empty nest, the amount of time and energy you have to devote to keeping your marriage relationship strong varies as well.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could invest only 10 minutes a day in your marriage relationship and keep it strong? Well keep reading for the 10 minute secret.

As married life moves into a routine, it’s easy to develop some “innocent” habits that can be detrimental to the health, growth and strength of our marriages.

Just like you need a balanced diet to keep you body healthy; you need a balance in your life to keep your marriage relationship healthy.

I find it interesting that of couples that my husband I and know, there is usually one spouse who is a night owl and the other is an early bird. This may not seem like a big deal until you consider that if you have children, the majority of your personal time with your spouse is after the kids all go to bed.

Once all the kids are down, I, like most women, then spend about an hour “finishing”.

Finishing the laundry, the dishes, the whatever only got half done that day. Then I’m ready for bed. (Yes, I’m the early bird in our family) However, my husband is just getting his second wind for the day and is ready to watch a movie, play a card game, talk, or is frisky.

If the night owl tries to encourage the early bird to join in, the early bird will comply occasionally, but their internal clock will prevent them from participating on a regular basis.

This can become frustrating to the night owl and can be viewed as rejection rather than an internal clock disparity. Even if the night owl realizes the internal clock disparity, there isn’t an opportunity for their relationship to be strengthened.

The frustration can easily result in a habit of having the night owl watch late night talk shows, read, play electronic games or surf the Internet while the early bird is catching a few “z’s”.

You may think that the best solution is to work on having the night owl or early bird change their internal clock by changing their sleeping patterns for a few weeks, then they will be ‘healed’ of their internal clock disparity.

It’s possible to change the internal clock of newborn babies who commonly have their days and nights mixed up. But it’s VERY difficult to do with someone who has had this internal clock in place for decades. Plus, they have come to enjoy the time zone they are in and use either their late nights or early mornings to accomplish things of importance for them.

Here is a real easy solution that will surprise the early bird, and bring relief to the night owl and strengthen the marriage.

If you’re the night owl, here’s how it works, when the early bird goes to bed, the night owl follows them and lays on top of the covers beside their spouse. (no frisky business just yet) The night owl then just talks, not about the current “honey do list”.

Talk about your feelings of the day (okay guys, I know you can do this). Talk about your feelings of joy, disappointments, or challenges. Tell your spouse what it is you love about them and connect on a deeper level.

Only stay for 10 minutes, kiss the early bird good night and leave. Now the early bird will have a perplexed look on their face, but just grin and enjoy the secret for a few nights.

If you’re the early bird, before you go to bed, go sit down by the night owl and tell them you have something you want to talk about. If they are already in the midst of their late night routine, convince them that it will only be 10 minutes away from their task at hand.

Then start talking about your feelings of joy, disappointments, or challenges. Tell your spouse what it is you love about them and connect on a deeper level.

After the promised 10 minutes is up, kiss the night owl good night and go to bed. As previously mentioned with the early bird, the night owl will probably have a perplexed look on their face.

After a few nights of applying the 10-minute secret, share with your spouse how you had realized that you weren’t having time each night to really communicate and you’ld like to keep doing this. I predict, they will gladly continue the 10-minute secret.

This 10 minutes is great for the early bird, they are more than happy to give up 10 minutes of sleep for their relationship. It’s also great for the night owl because they have now had some connecting time with their spouse, and don’t feel frustration as they go about their night owl routine.

After a few nights of really talking, you’ll be surprised at the new feelings that will come into your marriage relationship. As this 10 minute habit continues, you’ll be amazed at the the continued depth of your relationship.

As a side note, it really takes more than 10 minutes a day to keep your marriage strong. It’s critical that you also include a weekly date night and a couple of weekend get aways a year. Don’t forget to “communicate” during other times of the day as well.

This 10-minute secret is really meant to help the night owls and early birds be sure they have time each day to really connect.

If by some chance of fate, you and your spouse don’t have a disparity in your internal clock and are both night owls or early birds, you can still benefit from this 10-minute secret. Just be sure you end your day with 10 minutes of truly connecting with your spouse.

So try out the 10-minute secret tonight and enjoy every minute.

About the Author
Beth Young is the Senior Editor of the leading marriage advise web site, MarriageAdvice.com. To download your free ebook titled, “101 Marriage Secrets” visit

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How To Do Wonders With Your Marriage – The 10-Minute Secret

My wife N’omi is often asked if she doesn’t believe in equality for women, because some of the things she says sound odd to the modern ear. But she always replies:

“Why should I give up superiority for mere equality? I have worked at developing my feminine traits and my human abilities. So as a woman, I am superior. But as a man, I’m a failure.

“Why waste my time trying to be something I’m not? I can compete well with men in terms of some of my human abilities. But just as men can never compete with women in terms of feminine traits, I can never compete with men in terms of masculine traits.

“And since I used to counsel a group of gay and lesbian people, I can say with authority that if you knew what female impersonators or sex-change people went through mentally, emotionally, and physically, you wouldn’t think it was so easy for men to compete with women at being female.

“I’ll never be as strong as most men-they generally have 300% the upper-body strength of most women! And I’ll never have the masterful presence of a man, no matter how powerful a presence I present as a woman.

“During the many years before I met Joel, I functioned as father and mother to five of my children. I was only able to fulfill the father role by telling my children stories of how wonderful their father was, and how much he loved them, and was proud of them. But I couldn’t BE a father to them; only a faithful mom.

“Physically, beyond the obvious gender differences, men are jointed differently from women, which enables them to excel at certain activities that women find more difficult-though a woman’s special jointing enables her to do things well that a man finds more difficult.

“Which makes my point: Each gender has gender-specific qualities, as well as human attributes.

“In fact, if a pathologist finds a single human bone, he can tell whether it was from a male or a female. A geneticist examining a single human cell can tell whether it is male or a female.

“So I believe in being the best of what I can be. That includes my feminine qualities, and it includes my human qualities. For this reason, I am a very strong woman, emotionally and mentally. I am not in conflict with myself or with the people around me.

“I am busy being me, and getting happier and more fulfilled with each passing year.”

N’omi is really that wonderful woman, powerful and focused on fulfilling her potential-in her own life, and in our life together.

So what do N’omi and I have? Are we equal? No, because equal means the same. Men and women are not the same.

The only way in which all people are “created equal” is that we all have the same 24 hours a day in which to make decisions about who we have decided to be.

Marriage is not 1 + 1 = 2. That would be equality. Marriage is a partnership, to which each partner brings a different assortment of qualities: character traits, aptitudes, attributes, opinions, beliefs, and other accumulated stuff that makes them who they are.

In fact, this means that no two humans, regardless of gender, are really “equal” when they meet.

But in marriage, you are joining two very different sets of qualities, and adding gender qualities to the equation. This is a volatile mix because marriage is a partnership of unequals, not an equality of two identical parties.

We need to discard the idea that “unequal” means one is superior and one inferior. That’s NOT what it means.
“Unequal” just means “not the same,” or “different.” And anyone can see that every human is different from every other human.

Furthermore, many studies-psychological and physiological-show that men have many traits in common with each other that they don’t share with women.

And many similar studies show that women have many traits in common with each other that they don’t share with men.

Bottom Line: Marriage is a partnership, but not an equality. As a partnership, it consists of two very different people who bring different qualities to the relationship.

These qualities are of two kinds: Personal and gender. personal qualities are individual and not gender-specific. But there are gender-specific qualities that exist and must be recognized for what they are before true partnership can blossom.

Remember: Men and women are two races that share the same planet, but not much else! To get along happily, they have to learn about what’s unchangeable-in their own and in their mate’s nature-and what can be modified.

Then they will stop blaming, and start working together. That’s partnership!

About the Author
http://AwesomeMarriage.com – Dr. Joel Orr, “The Marriage Fixer,” has been counseling and coaching married couples for over 25 years. His book of practical tips for marriage, “Every Man a Hero, Every Woman a Coach” (http://www.everymanahero.com) – was recently published.

Article source:
How to Structure Your Marriage

There are a variety of different marriage “groups” out there. As you discover your group, you will be better able to determine if it’s the group you want to be in for the rest of your life, or if some adjustments are in order.

Convenience Marriage

When you got married, you were genuinely in love with your spouse. However, as the years rolled by and your time was taken up with jobs, children and other activities, you grew apart. Now you are in a marriage of convenience.

You rarely see each other, and that’s okay, but you do wish you shared more than just the expenses of a household.

Just as it took time to grow apart, it will take time to grow back together. Fear not, all is not lost if you are willing to put forth the effort.

Start slowly by finding time to spend with each other and rediscover how wonderful your spouse really is. Take an interest in some of the things that interest your spouse, find some common interests to develop with each other; just start spending time together.

Look for opportunities to plan a special activity or date that will help you get reacquainted.

Abusive Marriage

An abusive marriage is one where you are physically or emotionally abuse by your spouse. In many cases, this is a learned behavior from their childhood. Therefore, it can be unlearned with a lot of counseling and love.

No one should be led to believe that they belong in this group, everyone deserves a non-abusive marriage relationship.

Work on getting help for you and the abuser. If they are unwilling, then you need to get help dealing with the situation. It’s important to realize that if the abuse continues, then your only choice may be to leave the relationship.

Status Marriage

“Didn’t she marry well?” was heard by many of the guests at your wedding when you have a marriage for status. Yes, it’s important to marry a man that will provide for your needs. However, if you marry someone strictly for money or status and have nothing else in common…you’ll soon find that money isn’t everything.

What do you do if you fall in this group? It’s never too late to discover things about your spouse that will endear your heart. Try to look for the good things your spouse does for your and your children. Thank them for those good things and encourage them to give of their time and not just things.

Take time to get to know your spouse and develop a relationship that is based on deeper things.

Invisible Spouse Marriage

The invisible spouse marriage is one where you or your spouse are so busy with either work or outside activities, that you never see each other except passing at the front door…if that.

There are some jobs that require a lot of time away from family. There are also people who give more time and effort to their job than their family.

This may be due to a false sense of loyalty to their employer or their desire to be the number one guy/gal at work.

Additionally, there are many great causes out there to affiliate your time and talents with. However, if it is as the expense of your spouse and family, then it’s too great a cost.

Whatever the reason for your invisible marriage, it’s time to stop and figure out how to reduce your outside time and increase your together time.

At first it will seem like a great sacrifice. Yet as you work together to figure out what things to streamline and what things will help grow your marriage, you’ll be surprised at the joy that will return to your relationship.

Enduring Marriage

These are the marriages that we all dream of, the ones where you see a sweet older couple hobbling down the sidewalk hand in hand and smiling.

These marriages don’t happen by accident, they happen by positive, daily, consistent effort. It takes work to have an enduring marriage.

A marriage that will endure financial hardship, illness, troubled children, heart breaks and more is enduring because the couple gets through all these difficult times by helping each other through them.

Rather than saying, “Why me?”, they say, “Why not me?” and work together to get through the current challenge. They have the ability to get through these difficult times because the have built up a storehouse of happy memories, experiences and they trust each other to the end.

They have laughed together, cried together, played together and worked together. They know they can always count on each other and that is what makes and enduring marriage endure.

This marriage is possible for each one of us, if we’re willing to put forth the daily, weekly, monthly and yearly effort.

So which group are you in…and do you want to stay there? It’s never too late to change groups…it just takes love, courage and a willingness to try.

About the Author
Beth Young is the Senior Editor of the leading marriage advise web site, MarriageAdvise.com. To download your free ebook titled, “101 Marriage Secrets” visit http://www.MarrigeAdvice.com.

Article source:
Five Types of Marriages…Which Group Are You In

This is all great for the bride and groom as they will have some great memories to remember for the future and then when they attend a wedding and all these traditions are being played out in front of them again then they will remember their wedding.

There are no other weddings on earth maybe other than the wedding UK celebrates with so many old and new traditions. The UK weddings are beautiful and nostalgic and each one of their customs can be tracked to quite a few hundreds of years ago.

The wedding UK celebrates today still choose the right flowers for the bride according to what they symbolize – such as white chrysanthemums for truth, red roses for passion, and so on. This custom originates from the time when in ancient civilizations they were wearing spices in their dress or clothes to ward off evil spirits. The bride being so beautiful on her wedding day, and also coupling the fact the evil was always attracted to a virgin, the flowers were given to ward off the evil (in the beginning it was only smelling herbs which slowly changed to flowers). The wedding UK showcases today have deep roots in the ancient England which was once upon a time plagued with fear of witchcraft and evil spells.

There is another meaning attached to the flowers which are always in bloom. It symbolizes that the bride is in full bloom and ready to start her new life. Flowers have different meaning and just a century back, young people could send messages to each other only with the help of flowers. The wedding UK celebrates today still carries the residue of that custom.

You will want to know why in UK weddings the bride always stands on the left side of the groom. This custom has its roots in the times when the brides were conquered with swords not with love and words. Hence, when the bride was kidnapped or captured, the man held her on his left side for two reasons – one to protect her, and the other to have his right hand free in case he needed to fight the enemy.

There is another sweet custom in the wedding UK follows today i.e. the first dance at the wedding is with her father then with her father-in-law, while the groom dances with his mother and then with his mother-in-law. It shows respect and the beginning of new relationships that have started with the new wedding.

During a UK wedding traditions are followed very systematically and each gesture creates a warm feeling among the guests and family. There is the custom of throwing confetti. This habit is followed in many other countries in Europe as well – though sometime the confetti is replaced with grains. It is believed that the grains or confetti symbolize fertility and just grains give birth to new life, in the same way the new couple will give birth to new generations to follow and promote their linage on earth.

Then there are the wedding favors which the newly wedded couple gifts the guests and family members who attended the marriage. The wedding favors always make as a thank you for coming gift. This is presented to all the guests along with the wedding cake as a remembrance and gesture of good will for their time and good wishes. A UK wedding is a great day for both sides of the family and it is a coming together of two people that love each other and then there is the expanding of the families that are coming together to share their happy memories.

About the Author
Kevin Dark is the author of Who I am hates who I’ve been rant published at the famous hateblog.

Article source:
Weddings UK Are Still Stepped In Old Traditions

A wedding or anniversary is a time to celebrate and be joyful, but it can also be time to get creative and personal with your cross-stitch craft. A wedding is something the bride and groom will want to remember for the rest of their lives, so why not give something that comes from your heart so they can always have that special reminder. You can give them the gift on the wedding day or even years later on a special anniversary.

Make It Personal
When deciding to celebrate weddings and anniversaries in cross-stitch you can enjoy the ease with which you can personalize the craft. It is easy to add dates and names to just about any cross-stitch project. Find a design that represents their wedding day and add simple wording with their names and the date of the wedding. You can also add other information like where they were married or the children they have had over time.

Common Themes
Using the same theme and colors of the wedding is most popular when creating cross-stitch wedding gifts, however you are not limited to those colors or themes. Sometimes you can just use colors found in the home or office. If you are a skilled cross-stitch designer, you might be able to create a copy of the invitation into a cross-stitch design. One great theme for an anniversary gift is a family tree. After a couple has children and grandchildren, a cross-stitched family tree can bring a lot of joy and togetherness to a couple and their family… which of course becomes of an heirloom if so wished.

Project Ideas for Cross-stitched Wedding and Anniversary Gifts:

Framed Art
The family tree gift for an anniversary is a great idea for a framed art cross-stitch project. Offering the couple a piece of art that looks beautiful hung up on a wall is an excellent reminder of their special day.

Photo Album
Oftentimes the bride and groom end up with a lot of photos. You can create a handmade photo album by using your cross-stitched design on the front. This is also a good project for a couple’s anniversary, because they can put pictures they have taken together through the years in the pages of the scrapbook.

Sign-In Book
At the wedding or anniversary party, guests usually sign in on a guestbook. Instead of the couple having to buy a generic book at the store, why not create your own cover for the sign-in book using a personalized cross-stitch design.

Garter
“Something borrowed, something blue, something old, and something new” is an old traditions at weddings. You can create a garter from a cross stitch project making it much more personal to the couple.

Handkerchiefs
Another tradition at weddings is to offer the bride a handkerchief. You can find handkerchiefs to stitch on initials and the date of the wedding. They are also a nice gift to give to the groom.

Headband
Many brides wear a headband at either the ceremony or reception. You can use your cross-stitch skill to create an attractive cover for a headband.

Ring Pillow
The ring-bearer’s pillow is also a fun way to incorporate your cross-stitch ability into a wedding. You can stitch a beautiful wedding design onto the pillow that the ring bearer will use to carry the wedding rings to the altar.

Quilt
If you possess both the ability to cross-stitch and sew, this is an excellent keepsake for a wedding or anniversary gift. You can cross-stitch some squares to use on the quilt to make it personal and cozy.

Wall Hanging
Like the framed art, creating a wall-hanging is a nice way to remember the couple’s special day while having something nice to fill that empty space.

Keepsake Box
Every couple has items from their marriage that they want to keep in a safe place. There are keepsake boxes available that allow you to put your cross-stitch fabric across the top or in a frame on the top. These boxes are particularly useful for storing the smaller items retained from a wedding.

Cross stitching a gift for any anniversary, whether one year or seventy-five, is a great idea. Anniversaries come in many different forms, and there are numerous occasions, other than wedding anniversaries, which you can celebrate that are so special…

Buying your first home, recovering from a life threatening illness or finding remission from illness, becoming a mother, grand parent or a great grand parent, adopting a child, or winning an award through work or lifetime achievement are all days that too often go unnoticed and can warrant a special gift that really comes from the heart; a cross stitched personal piece of art.

About the Author
John Wigham has been a professional author and editor for 20 years and is a co-founder of http://www.patternspatch.com an online cross stitch club dedicated to counted cross stitch. The website has a small team of writers who are passionate about cross stitch and enjoy writing about their hobby.

Article source:
How to Celebrate Weddings and Anniversaries in Cross-Stitch